crotch fruit
Crotch fruit is blunt, irreverent internet slang for a child — specifically someone's offspring.
Definitions
Crotch fruit is blunt, irreverent internet slang for a child — specifically someone's offspring. The term is derogatory in its literal framing but is widely used in a dark-humour, childfree-community context rather than to attack any specific kid. You'll encounter it most often on forums and subreddits dedicated to child-free lifestyles, where it functions as a sardonic shorthand. It's definitely not PG-rated language, and using it around parents is a great way to make enemies instantly.
She told her coworker she wasn't coming to the company picnic because she had zero tolerance for spending her Saturday surrounded by other people's crotch fruit.
Comments
(slang, derogatory) A child; offspring.
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🗺️About Regional & Other slang
Regional slang from around the English-speaking world — British, Australian, Irish, Caribbean, Nigerian, Filipino, AAVE, and the hyphenated-English dialects that make the internet sound local.
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Related terms
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Semantically related
- crotchling83%
A delightfully uncharitable slang term for a child — specifically the kind of term deployed by someone who finds children loud, inconvenient, or generally in the way. It combines anatomical bluntness with a diminutive suffix to create something that manages to be funny and rude simultaneously. Online communities devoted to the child-free lifestyle adopted it enthusiastically. It's not genuinely hateful but it does signal a decided lack of sentimentality about small humans.
- crotch dropping81%
A blunt, deliberately crude slang term for a child or offspring, used to express exasperation, dark humour, or contrarianism around parenting culture. Calling a kid a 'crotch dropping' strips away the sentimentality usually attached to children and replaces it with raw biological frankness. The term is mostly used online by child-free communities, in edgy comedy, or by parents venting about the exhausting reality of raising kids — rarely as a term of genuine contempt.
- crotch dropping79%
(slang, derogatory) A child; an offspring.
- crotch dumpling77%
A vulgar, derogatory slang term for a child, reducing children to an unpleasant byproduct of sex. Used by people expressing irritation at children in general or, in more extreme moments, by those who are firmly child-free and want to signal contempt. Deliberately shocking rather than genuinely hateful in most uses.