A crustache is a scraggly, patchy, or barely-there mustache that looks more like a mistake than an intentional style choice. The kind of upper-lip fluff that shows up on teenagers testing puberty or on grown adults who really should know better. Think wispy, uneven, possibly crusty — more fuzz than facial hair, and zero authority. It's not a mustache; it's a mustache's disappointing younger cousin.
He'd been growing that crustache for six weeks and it still looked like he'd glued a few hairs above his lip.
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(slang) A sparse or wispy mustache.
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Regional slang from around the English-speaking world — British, Australian, Irish, Caribbean, Nigerian, Filipino, AAVE, and the hyphenated-English dialects that make the internet sound local.
See all Regional & Other slang on Slangora.