To goof off, waste time, or avoid doing what you're supposed to be doing.
If you can't teach your kids to read you should chop your dick off.
And fortunately for me I very much do not want advice about stripping the dick off a dead raccoon, ever, under any circumstances, so I really have no reason to ever listen to that man’s insufferable voice.
To goof off, waste time, or avoid doing what you're supposed to be doing. Someone who's dicking off might be browsing their phone when they should be working, wandering around aimlessly, or generally just not getting anything done. The phrase carries a laid-back, slightly dismissive energy — it's not serious loafing, just productive avoidance. Common in American workplaces and casual conversation.
Instead of finishing his report, he spent the whole afternoon dicking off on social media.
Add your own interpretation of "dick off".
Regional slang from around the English-speaking world — British, Australian, Irish, Caribbean, Nigerian, Filipino, AAVE, and the hyphenated-English dialects that make the internet sound local.
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(US, Australia, slang, intransitive) To dawdle, lollygag; to waste time aimlessly or engage in idle activity or inactivity.
(intransitive, slang, vulgar) To waste time on an unproductive activity.
(slang) To be inattentive; to get out of hard work; to skive off.
(intransitive, vulgar) To do nothing; to waste time.
Give me Ryan's address so that I can go to his house and cut his dick off. /joking
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(slang) To shirk; to waste time; to play around.
“If you can't teach your kids to read you should chop your dick off.”
“And fortunately for me I very much do not want advice about stripping the dick off a dead raccoon, ever, under any circumstances, so I really have no reason to ever listen to that man’s insufferable voice.”
“Give me Ryan's address so that I can go to his house and cut his dick off. /joking”
“Cognitive test: Lion, Bear Cub, Alligator, Raccoon. Which one’s severed head did RFK Jr. put in his car trunk for drop off on a joy ride to Central Park, and which one did he cut the dick off of “for later study”?”
“"If I want advice about the best way to strip the dick off of a dead raccoon I’ll consult RFKJr and his pack of psycho woo merchants, otherwise they can fuck right off about how I say healthy."”
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