plonker
(UK, Ireland, Commonwealth, slang) A penis.
Seen in the wild
This bloody infuriates me. Just seen a dude, in a wheelchair, having to go into the road to navigate around this plonker’s car. #Iwantmypavementback #banpavementparking
Choosing Greens *is* progress, you plonker!
Guess which plonker's brain fog made him throw an unused tea bag into their almost finished glass of apple cordial rather than the empty tea mug. 🤦🏻♂️
She doesn’t realise that she is a right little self entitled plonker does she? 😂
People are always looking for counter arguments...go stand in a mirror and argue with yourself you fucking plonker!
Definitions
(UK, Ireland, Commonwealth, slang) A penis.
: Frank advised him, 'Stay away from cheap songs and the rest will follow.' Bennett did record some plonkers but his overall level of good to bad has to be higher than Frank's.
“This bloody infuriates me. Just seen a dude, in a wheelchair, having to go into the road to navigate around this plonker’s car. #Iwantmypavementback #banpavementparking”
— Bluesky· May 2026“Choosing Greens *is* progress, you plonker!”
— Bluesky· May 2026“Guess which plonker's brain fog made him throw an unused tea bag into their almost finished glass of apple cordial rather than the empty tea mug. 🤦🏻♂️”
— Bluesky· May 2026“She doesn’t realise that she is a right little self entitled plonker does she? 😂”
— Bluesky· May 2026“People are always looking for counter arguments...go stand in a mirror and argue with yourself you fucking plonker!”
— Bluesky· May 2026
Comments
(UK, Ireland, Commonwealth, slang, derogatory) A fool.
Comments
(UK, Ireland, Commonwealth, slang, dated) A man who sanctions sexual relationships between his girlfriend and his male friends.
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🇬🇧About British & Irish slang slang
UK and Irish slang — Cockney, Scouse, Geordie, Yorkshire, Glaswegian, Brummie, Welsh, West Country, plus Irish English. Centuries of regional dialects feeding into modern British and Irish street talk.
See all British & Irish slang slang on Slangora.
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Semantically related
- pull someone's plonker78%
A British expression that primarily means to tease or wind someone up — to mess with their head by telling them something absurd and watching them believe it. 'Are you pulling my plonker?' is the classic incredulous response when someone says something that sounds too ridiculous to be true. Though the phrase has a literal sexual meaning rooted in 'plonker' as slang for penis, in everyday British usage the figurative 'taking the mick' sense is far more common.
- plonko72%
(AU, informal) someone addicted to cheap wine.
- plop71%
(British, slang) Excrement.