eval pilled

Describes someone who has been fully converted to the belief that rigorous evaluation and benchmarking are the only trustworthy path to truth — whether about AI models, relationships, career moves, or anything else. Evals-pilled people refuse vibes-based takes; they want data, reproducible results, and measurable outcomes before they'll call anything good. The term carries a mild irony since being this obsessed with metrics is itself a kind of unexamined ideology. Often used affectionately within AI-discourse communities.

Describes someone who has fully internalized the logic of social media engagement as a core value — optimizing post timing, studying analytics, A/B testing captions, and treating every piece of content as a lever for maximizing interaction. The engage-pilled person can't look at a photo without mentally calculating its thumbnail crop, or read a headline without diagnosing its click-through potential. Used both earnestly in creator circles (badge of craft) and ironically everywhere else (commentary on brain-poisoning by metrics).

Having gone so deep down the rabbit hole of gear obsession that your worldview is now filtered entirely through the lens of equipment quality, specs, and aesthetics. Someone who is kit pilled talks about loadouts at inappropriate moments, judges new acquaintances by their setup, and considers gear investment a form of self-improvement. The 'pilled' framing implies a conversion moment — a single discovery, review, or setup reveal that cracked their brain open and made gear culture inescapable. Common in gaming, cycling, photography, and football communities.

Describes someone who has fully internalized the speedrunning philosophy as a lifestyle — always optimizing, always looking for the fastest route, deeply unable to take anything at its intended pace. Speedrun-pilled people treat every task like there's a leaderboard. They research shortcuts before vacations, skip tutorials on everything, and somehow view a lazy Sunday as an efficiency problem to be solved. The term is almost always used affectionately or ironically, acknowledging that the person has gone full acceleration-brain.

Someone who has fully internalized and accepted a loss-oriented worldview — either because they've taken enough Ls to stop fighting the pattern, or because they've philosophically concluded that effort doesn't reliably produce wins. Being L pilled isn't the same as being depressed; it's a detached, darkly funny resignation. The L pilled person still shows up, still tries, but they've already priced in the loss and adjusted expectations accordingly. They're the first person to say 'called it' when things go wrong, because they never stopped expecting them to.