A gatekeep god is someone who has elevated petty exclusivity into an art form — the ultimate arbiter of who's in and who's out, operating with such committed possessiveness that it almost wraps around to impressive. The title is equal parts roast and reluctant crown: yes, they're insufferable about their micro-niche, but their dedication to not letting anyone else have nice things is at least consistent. The gatekeep god doesn't just deny entry; they build a labyrinth and charge admission in obscure knowledge.
She won't even tell her best friend where she gets her vintage finds — absolute gatekeep god behavior.
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